I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
