just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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