Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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