so let's talk penis.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
