im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
