Will you blow on my dice?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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