i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
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Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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