so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i now understand why vodka
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
