I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
