i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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