Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
