I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
