oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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