try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
