I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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