I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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