so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
