She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
