Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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