Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
