I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize