yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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