I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize