i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
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