took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
