dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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