you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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