i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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