I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
