I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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