She is in my trunk
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
