i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
