someone owes me an orgasm
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Randomize
