eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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