We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
