She said her name was "party"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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