I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
