I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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