Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
