I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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