you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
