Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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