As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
