sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
