in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
