last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm at about main and main street
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
