I cockslap morals
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
