Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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