He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
