he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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