I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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