my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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