I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There's always time for handjobs
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
