Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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