It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
