your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
