I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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