I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize