the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
