Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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