period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
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