I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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