It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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