i just google imaged poop.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
