it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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