This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
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Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
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I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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