Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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