A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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