I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
